


Walking a Fine Line

by irinokat



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Aftercare, Bondage, Hand Jobs, Hermann has MS, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Safewords, Spanking, Urination (Not Watersports)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 01:11:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irinokat/pseuds/irinokat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt really loves it when Hermann gets rough... until he accidentally hits a sore spot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walking a Fine Line

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ClassyFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyFangirl/gifts).



> Prompted by ClassyFangirl and written for her, because she is excellent and a great writer and I would not have thought of or liked the idea of Newt pissing himself without her. 
> 
> (note, just in case the tags aren't clear: while a character does urinate, this does not involve watersports or pissplay in any way)
> 
> (second note, I did research some stuff before writing this but please feel free to let me know if I'm portraying anything wrong or in a bad/harmful way)

It took several years for Hermann to even consider a relationship with Newt, and months after that to start having sex with him. Newt knows he should have expected some resistance to this. And yet Hermann’s hesitance still frustrates him. He holds his breath for a few seconds and lets it out slowly, trying to calm himself, as he paces around Hermann’s room. “I’ve done this plenty of times, Hermann, it’s not –”

“Newton, I’m not saying no.” Hermann sits up straighter and lays his hand on Newt’s arm as he passes by the bed again. “I just… need some time to think about this. Research. We need to keep talking about it.”

“Would it help if we started outside the bedroom?” Hermann’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head. Newt sighs. “I meant that metaphorically, man. I mean, like, what if you tied me up while you… I dunno, filed reports or something?”

“You would find that enjoyable?” Hermann sounds puzzled, but not disgusted. That’s a good sign.

“Yeah, hell yeah! God, it would be so fucking amazing.” Newt can feel himself getting hard just from thinking about it, which is a little bit embarrassing, but he hasn’t practiced BDSM since at least Trespasser, possibly before that. Trying to find a good dom in the PPDC seems like a terrible idea, even to Newt, especially if the relationship goes sour. He’s not worried about that with Hermann, considering how steady they’ve been, and how much Hermann hates discussing anything personal with mere acquaintances. “I’ve done this a lot before, Hermann, I promise it’s not as scary as it sounds. And you’re in control of how hard you hit me –”

“That’s what I’m concerned about,” Hermann says, voice quiet.

Newt wraps his arms around Hermann’s shoulders and presses his forehead against Hermann’s. “But that’s why we have safewords, and why we talk about it, and we keep talking about it.” He kisses the tip of Hermann’s nose. “And we don’t have to do it, if you don’t like it. It’s not gonna be any fun for me if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

“Alright. I’ll… I’ll think about it.” Hermann cups Newt’s cheek and tilts his head until he can kiss Newt, open-mouthed on the lips.

Newt can barely contain his excitement when Hermann pulls him aside a week later and asks if they can practice safe rope knots after dinner.

 

Hermann only ties Newt up for twenty minutes the first time they try it, glancing up at Newt, fully clothed and lying quietly on his bed, from his book every few minutes and immediately pulling the knot loose the second his alarm goes off. Every session gets a little bit longer until Hermann is comfortable with Newt lying next to him, leaning up against him, wrists and ankles bound, for a few hours, and he looks at Newt with a steady smile instead of a nervous, thin frown.

Newt’s fine with how slowly everything’s going. Just having his wrists behind his back, being unable to move, is enough to relax him, and the occasions when Hermann has sex with him while he’s tied up are a treat, his cock aching for touch, his head pressed into a pillow, moaning and begging as Hermann fucks him senseless. Hermann is perfect as a dom, cold and commanding but not cruel, breaking character less and less as they keep going, initiating their sessions more and more. Newt was embarrassed he’d even asked at first, Hermann had seemed so opposed to the idea, but now he’s glad Hermann enjoys it as much as he does. He always knew there was a kinky bastard hiding under the layers of ill-fitting clothing and soft, annoyed rasp.

 

It’s all ruined when Hermann has another episode. It only lasts a week, but it takes months for him to regain mobility, to see out of his left eye again, and even then he can’t walk without a cane. Newt watches as he limps around the lab, wishing he could help but with no idea how. Most of the time, Hermann is quiet about it, politely ignoring or declining everyone’s attempts to help and spending much more time sitting at his computer than standing at his chalkboards; he retreats to his room when he can’t handle people anymore, and Newt occasionally comes in to find him with red, puffy eyes or a throat hoarse from shouting in frustration. Even with Newt forcing him to rest, he’s too tired most nights for more than kissing and cuddling, and Newt refuses to push him.

Hermann apologizes again and again for their lack of sex life. Newt brushes him off, tells him to stop – it’s not his fault that his body is acting against him. He didn’t get multiple sclerosis to piss Newt off. Sure, he misses the feel of Hermann’s cock in his ass and the way Hermann holds him extra tight after a session, but just being able to cuddle with him is enough. Should be enough.

Newt has never hated his sex drive more in his life.

He jerks off on the bathroom when Hermann is asleep and he can’t stand it anymore. Otherwise he starts getting irritated, stomping around the lab and throwing things with more force, yelling louder, fighting harder. Every time he catches himself, he excuses himself for a break and hates himself a bit more, purposely curling his hand too tightly around his dick, telling himself with every painful pump of his shaft that he should be able to deal with this, that it’s not fair to Hermann to be annoyed, even angry, that he’s not having sex. It’s not Hermann’s fault and Newt doesn’t blame him. He should be able to control himself. He’s not a horny teenager surrounded by older hot people on a college campus with no parents around anymore. He can see the guilty look on Hermann’s face on the few occasions when he accidentally wakes the other man up during the night and wants to slam his head into a wall when he remembers it.

 

“Newton?”

“Yeah?” Newt tosses a chunk of shark flesh towards the waste chute. Kaiju guts never smelled good even when they were fresh, and now that Newt’s moved on to studying the effects of Kaiju Blue on local marine life, Hermann makes Newt scrub down the lab extra thoroughly so the place won’t stink of rotten fish or formaldehyde. He misses the chute by at least a foot but doesn’t care to pick it up just yet.

“What day is it?”

Newt lobs another piece and misses again. It lands dangerously close to the yellow line that they’ve left on the floor. It seems so petty now. “I dunno. January something or another.”

Hermann sighs loudly enough for Newt to know he’s faking it. Oh, sure, he’s probably annoyed, but that was a stage-sigh if Newt ever heard one. It just makes him more irritated. He hates it when people make him play guessing games. He tosses a third chunk of shark, not even looking at the chute. He looks up when there’s an odd squelch and Hermann growls. That one somehow ended up on Hermann’s shoe, and Hermann now looks genuinely pissed. Shit.

“What I was _going_ to tell you,” Hermann says, “is that it’s been exactly a month since we closed the Breach.”

“Sorry,” Newt says, pulling the shark off of Hermann’s shoe, wincing as a drop or two of preserving fluid drips onto his pant leg.

“I was going to suggest we celebrate it, but now… Now I think you’re more deserving of punishment.” Newt glances up. Hermann smirks, one corner of his mouth raising, and Newt’s insides suddenly squirm in a nice way.

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” Newt says slowly as he picks up the other shark pieces.

“Clean up the lab, and yourself. Eat dinner. Come to my room at 8PM sharp.” Hermann gives him another evil grin and strolls out of the lab as Newt drops the shark pieces in surprise.

 

Newt knocks on the door a few minutes early. Hermann actually makes him wait, the jerk. Newt waits until five minutes after and then when he still doesn’t open the door, Newt bangs on it. Hermann raises one eyebrow when he pulls it open. “I told you 8PM sharp.” His voice is frigid. A shiver runs down Newt’s spine.

“So what have you got planned?” Newt asks, fidgeting, looking around the room. He doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but then again, Hermann tends to keep their equipment out of the way.

“You remember your safeword?” Newt looks Hermann over as the man speaks. He has on a black button-down and a dark blue vest. His hair, which he’s allowed to grow out a little, thank god, is neatly combed to one side. The way he leans on his cane make him look just a little bit intimidating. Newt swallows.

“Eisenstein.”

Hermann smiles. “Good. You are to remain silent unless you need to say it or I tell you otherwise. Now get undressed.”

Newt has never stripped faster in his life. It’s been what, almost a year? Hermann pushes him onto the bed and ties first his wrists, then his ankles. Newt considers struggling, but it’s been a while and Hermann might not have the stamina to force him; he’d rather have a longer evening. He tries his hardest to sit still while Hermann unbuttons and rolls up his sleeves, he really does, but his cock is already hardening and he can’t help squirming a bit. Hermann sighs before pushing him down and turning him so that he’s lying on his chest, tied hands in front of him, ass raised.

“You’ve been rather bad lately.” Newt cries out when Hermann’s hand lands on his ass. “I said to be _quiet._ Apologize.”

“S-sorry.”

“Sorry what?”

“Sorry, sir.” His cock, already hard, twitches when he says it.

Hermann spanks him again. “As I was saying, you’ve been naughty lately. Entrails all over the lab, especially my side, irritable, noisy…” Newt bites his lip as Hermann keeps going, his ass already sore. “Ever since the breach closed, you’ve been acting up.” Hermann stops for a moment, leaning over so his vest rubs against Newt’s back, and says in his ear, “You miss the kaiju, don’t you?” Newt whimpers. Hermann’s hand comes down again. “I always knew you were a groupie. Kaiju slut.”

Newt tenses. Hermann has never brought the kaiju up during dirty talk before. Then again, Hermann didn’t really know about his… thing for them before the drift. He thinks about using his safeword, but so far it’s just made him a little uncomfortable, and it’s been so long… He’ll be fine.

“You do miss them.” Hermann rubs Newt’s ass, the skin stinging from his touch. “You finally got to see them up close, and it drove you wild.” Newt squirms, stomach and abdomen clenching as he recalls the night Otachi hunted him down. The thought is more scary than sexy. Maybe he should… “I bet you wanted Otachi to find you. You liked it when its tongue brushed up against you.”

Newt shivers and not in a good way. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, where’s his voice? “You were so happy when you found out she was pregnant, weren’t you?” Hermann pinches him. He pulls himself down so he’s tight against the bed, trembling, feeling adrenaline running through him as he shakes. The memories are coming back, they’re all coming back, being chased, nearly being eaten several times, watching Hannibal tossed in the air –

All muscle control lost. “Eisenstein!” Newt shouts as he feels his bladder relax, finds himself unable to stop leaking. For a moment the bed and his stomach feel warm under him as his piss spreads through the sheets. Hermann’s already pulling the knots loose, but he can’t stop saying, “Eisenstein, Eisenstein, shit, Eisenstein,” until Hermann pulls him into a sitting position. Tears fall down his cheeks as Hermann’s eyes widen, seeing the puddle on the sheets. “Fuck, shit, I’m sorry,” Newt says, voice wobbly.

“No, no, no, it’s not your fault, I’m sorry.” Hermann stretches his arms out like he wants to hug Newt but stops. “Um. What would you like me to…?”

“Hold me?”

Hermann sits down next to him, on the side that isn’t wet, and wraps his arms around Newt’s shoulders. Newt leans into him and sobs. Hermann rubs his shoulders, runs his fingers through Newt’s hair, whispers apologies over and over. Newt’s tears eventually dry. His breath evens out. He clings to Hermann as Hermann says, for the millionth time, “I’m so, so sorry, Newton.”

“It’s – it’s okay,” Newt mumbles.

“Wh- what was it?” Hermann asks. “Was it the talking?”

“Yeah, the, the kaiju thing,” Newt says. He takes Hermann’s hand and clasps it. “I know I… I fantasize about them sometimes, but it’s not… it’s not…”

“I won’t bring it up again during play.”

“Okay.”

“Is there anything else?”

“No, no, everything else was fine,” Newt says, smiling. “Fuck, Hermann, it was amazing. It wasn’t you, it was my stupid brain.”

“Your brain is not stupid.” Wow, Hermann’s not saying something about how that statement’s illogical, he must be really freaked. “I brought up bad memories. I should have known it would be too much. I’m sorry.”

“How could you?”

Hermann sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop that.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes more. Newt shivers, not from fear but from cold. The adrenaline’s left him and his piss and sweat cooled off pretty fast. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” Hermann says, getting to his feet.

Newt gets up by himself but lets Hermann put his arm around his shoulder as they walk the few steps to Hermann’s private bathroom. Thanks to his disability, Hermann was given his own shower and tub. Newt lies down in it as Hermann pulls  out fresh towels and starts the water. He soaks, letting the piss wash off, as Hermann changes the sheets. When Hermann comes back, he drains the water and gently scrubs Newt down, massaging his scalp as he shampoos his hair. He doesn’t stop touching Newt until Newt is clean, toweled off, and lying in bed, curled up under the clean sheets. Once he’s tucked in, Hermann gets back to his feet and starts taking his own clothes off. Newt watches and smiles.

“Hermann?”

“Yes?” Hermann’s attention snaps straight back to him as he unbuttons his shirt.

“You were perfect, man.” Newt’s sleepy voice drags out the syllables.

“Newton, you don’t have to lie to me, I know that I –”

“No, really, I mean it.” Newt props himself up on his elbow as Hermann pulls his pants off, feet catching in the extra material in the legs. He really needs to take Hermann shopping for clothes that fit now that they have time. “You stopped the second I called my word, you asked me what I needed, you cleaned me up… You’re the best.” The tips of Hermann’s ears are pink. When Hermann doesn’t respond, doesn’t look at him, just pulls pajamas out of a drawer, Newt says, “And you don’t know how to take a compliment.”

“Thank you.” It sounds sarcastic, but he’ll take it. Hermann turns off the light and settles into bed next to Newt. "I’m sorry we didn’t get to do more,” he says quietly into Newt’s ear.

Newt pulls him in tight and kisses him. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” Hermann groans. “It’s been so long since we’ve done anything, and the first time I feel up to it, I do this…”

“It’s not your fault. None of it is your fault.” Newt kisses him on the neck. “Now stop blaming yourself. Find something else to do with your mouth.” In reply, Hermann tips Newt’s chin up and kisses him deep.

Newt was feeling sleepy, but Hermann’s tongue exploring his mouth for the first time in what feels like forever starts his blood flowing again. He rolls his hips against Hermann’s stomach. Hermann pulls away. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He feels Hermann’s cock, half-hard, against his thigh and whines, “Please, yes.”

Hermann wraps his hand around Newt’s cock and slowly pumps up and down as they keep kissing, all sloppy and wet from Newt’s whimpering and groaning. Newt pushes down Hermann’s pants and boxers and takes his cock in hand, finding his rhythm, listening to Hermann’s breath hitching as he rubs his thumb over the slit. It’s been too long. Their movements are erratic, Newt accidentally stopping when Hermann makes him squeal, Hermann gripping just a little too hard when Newt massages his balls, but as far as Newt is concerned, it’s the little fuck-ups that make it unexpected and perfect. He comes first, thrusting into Hermann’s hand, forgetting to pump Hermann for a minute as he whites out. The second he remembers, he starts massaging Hermann with both hands, smiling at Hermann’s little gasps and moans. It doesn’t take much longer for Hermann to finish, biting his lip hard as Newt pumps him.

When they’re both finished, Newt grabs some tissues and wipes up what he can. He tosses them off in the general direction of the garbage can. Hermann tugs his glasses off. He smiles and wraps his arms around Hermann’s skinny waist. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” It’s not long before Newt is asleep against Hermann’s chest, softly snoring and smiling. Not-so-perfect nights are perfectly fine if they can all end like this.


End file.
